find your own dreams.

today a friend posted an article on facebook that caught my attention: the 8 biggest life mistakes you can make in your 20s. and so i opened it up and read it. and for the most part i completely disagree! which led me to this post. pretty much the only thing i agree with is that you are in charge of your own happiness. don't settle. i realize that everyone comes from different backgrounds and experiences that help to mold them into the person that they are. but if you ask me the biggest problem in society is people searching for answers from others. and it is all a bunch of crap. find your own dreams. make your own path. and do it because you want to. not because anyone told you. that is the very first problem with this article. they judge the decisions of others. lump them into a huge group. everyone who works hard and doesn't travel hates their life and are less cultured. people who sacrifice for the betterment of their children are less happy. this is completely not true. i know a lot of happy middle aged people. and if you are 20 or 40 and tired of your job and not happy with your life then maybe you have begun to take things for granted. maybe you don't continue to learn and challenge yourself. maybe you quit working hard on your personal relationships. i work in a profession that provides compassionate care to others, that makes you cultured. to work in an environment that sets goals, pushes people to their limits, strives for excellence that makes you cultured. there are no right and wrongs in life. it is all about the experiences that you have and how you deal with them. there is nothing wrong with wanting a family. with wanting to work a 40 hour/week in order to provide for you family and purchase things that you want. just don't forget about yourself.

i have yet to travel out of this country but i have a life more rich with experience than the average person. i have dreams. i want to immerse myself in another culture. i want to see the world and meet new people. try new food. listen to new music. experience life from a different perspective. but i haven't had those opportunities yet. and i am okay with that. and to me that is such a small dream in the grand scheme of my life.

my dream from day one has been to fall in love. in a deep, passionate love with a person who will accept me for who i am and love me unconditionally. to give myself fully and completely to that person. to trust them not to hurt me or leave me. to share my life with them and build new dreams together. to earn an education that will allow me to begin a career that i enjoy. to share my knowledge with those around me to make this world a better place. even in the most insignificant of ways. to work consistently at getting better at my job and continuing to learn. to own a car. to own a home. nothing fancy just a place to call my own. something that belongs to me. but my biggest dream of all has always been to start a family. (and to own a pet). to raise my children in a safe environment and protect them from harm. to watch them grow and support them as they become who they want. to reserve judgement and foster their interests. to help all the people around me develop into their own person by offering support, guidance and encouragement. and for me this will always be enough. if god blesses us with a lifestyle that allows us to travel i will be very appreciative and grateful but traveling won't make me happy. and it won't come unless we work very hard for it.

i grew up with a very difficult background. one that most people would never relate to or understand. growing up with a less than ideal childhood including neglect and abuse makes you realize how important the little things in life are. knowing that you are safe. and loved. that is most important thing. my husband and i have worked very hard to earn our college degrees. not only were we each financially independent, we shared the experience of embarking on new adventures with little guidance. not out of lack of love but out of lack of experience. we learned how to register for classes, study, and make ends meet. how to prepare for special exams and interviews. and how to trust one another. because of the financial hardships we faced as we became independent adults we have worked  very hard to secure our financial future. we save a lot. own a home and two reliable cars. and while the saying is true you can't take money with you when you're gone, you can use that money to make sure that your spouse and family is taken care of. and this is very important to each of us. we work hard on our friendship and our marriage. we constantly reinforce the love we have for each other and appreciate the little things that make our life so special. marrying your best friend makes this process so much more simple, but nothing worth having comes easy.

i am proud of my life. i am proud of my dreams. and if someone wants to say that being the best wife possible, and being the world's most loving, caring mother aren't good enough dreams. that i'm limiting myself by staying in one area near my friends and family. then i would say that person has no ideas what values are. and it makes me sad for those people. that doing what is best for others sometimes means personal sacrifice.